I had the strangest dream...
Akmenos
rabarts2
Yes, when I woke up this morning I couldn't help but  feel like I had just roused from a sleep some many many months longer than a single night, a sleep in which I had the strangest dream. In this dream I was a puppet master of some kind, tugging on the strings of life and death for a merry band of journeymen who stumbled from one entanglement to the next as they crossed a land blighted by chaos and peopled by twisted creatures and treachery aplenty. I would write down these strange dreams, yet I'm sure someone else must have already done it

Meanwhile, did I mention earlier that we had found a vast, apparently abandoned citadel, and had been exploring it to find any sign of life? No? Well, aside from the bizarre ghostly automatons who come upon us in their numbers and fall so very quickly to blade and blast, and the faint stench of fox urine, anyone would think that the place had been left desolate and uninhabited for a hundred years or more. 

But this is the Feywild, a place where nothing is as it seems, and where there are as many mysteries in the light as there are in the shadow.


What lurks behind the veil?Collapse )

Not My Kind of Feast
Akmenos
rabarts2
I have yet to be impressed by the hospitality of this shadow land. First we're set upon by giants and wraiths in the misty woods, then we stumble across a pile of ruins only to find ourselves surrounded by rotting corpses intent on devouring us. How very discourteous of them, I must say. I would have expected at least a "please, sir, might I chew on your succulent flesh?" from the ravenous dead before they tried chowing down on us, but not so much as a 'by-your-leave' did we hear. No, just straight in with the biting. 

Most unacceptable. 

Pass the salt & ... OW!Collapse )

Just the Pits
Akmenos
rabarts2
I don't think much of this faerie realm. Where's the glittering dust sparkling in the sunshine, and the bees, and the daffodils, and all that other faerie stuff? 

Oh, that's right. This is the shadow faerie realm. No sparkly butterflies and honey dew here. Just stumbling goliaths and soul-sucking wraiths and gaping great big bloody holes in the ground full of spikes. Spikes that really hurt when some bastard shade blasts you into them. 


Yes, our first taste of life in the shadow realm got a bit messy. When the shaggy giants swarmed us from the misty forest and Enna charged forward, cutting the first one down before it had even lifted its club, we thought it would all be too easy. Turns out it was not. 


Harkill launched himself into the fray, his blazing wings a beacon in the darkness, and Snowfoot unleashed a plethora of new powers to push back the monsters and give us strength to battle them. Vondal and Enna swarmed the foe but we were surrounded and outnumbered. My own powers leaped and burned across the mists, carving the shadows in shadows of my own making. 


Of course, in spite of the statistical unlikelihood that the five of us could defeat five giants and five wraiths, we ended up cutting them all down apart from the one that got away, and only two of us, myself included, ended up ass-down in a pit full of spikes. 


I had hoped that the giants might be carrying super-sized lunch bags, but no such luck, just smelly old hides and copper coins and a few useless rubies that we can't even cook up and eat. I'm rather dreading what the local hospitality is going to be like if this is how they greet visitors at the door. 


Honestly, this place is just the pits. 


Zobeck the Mad
Akmenos
rabarts2
 

Before you go running off to start drawing up a defamation lawsuit on Zobeck's behalf, it would behoove you to know that Zobeck is a city, a city turning mad from the influence of shadowy assassins and twisted magic. We, Vondal's Vandals, are also well known by our other name, The Untwisters (honestly, it's true, I didn't just make it up now. Don't believe me? Go look it up in your local library of Heroic Folk and Deeds. It's right there beside Urgles Uniuns and the Unwise Sages of Hensbum). As such, we have put much time and effort into untwisting the mystery that grips Zobeck, a mystery which, it seems, her bureaucrats and tawdry questing heroes are incapable of solving.


Can we, The Untwisters, solve this mystery? Follow on, and see.


Untwisting by the Pool...Collapse )

A Shadow of My Former Self
Akmenos
rabarts2
You think that's funny, do you? You won't be laughing once I'm done telling you my tale of woe. And woeful it surely is! I'm not even exaggerating, not even a little bit! Honest!  Shadowy doings in shadowy places...Collapse )
Tags:

Back in the Saddle
Akmenos
rabarts2
Ah, the wind, the rain, the sun, the chafing between the thighs. Nothing like being back on a horse in the rough wilderness. 


Aye, we've left the pyramid behind us in ruins, the ghosts of Thrullzon and Karavakos to wail on the wind, and the Rod of Ruin in ashes. I drank many a jolly libation to the passing of that foul thing, and when I was done burning it and drinking to its passing I vented my bladder liberally upon its cremated dust. Consider yourself ruined, Rod of Ruin. * Pfft *


See how I did that, using words to express my physical distaste? Hah! Next I'll be making smiling faces with punctuation. It will usher in the Revolution! 



Hear! Hear! The Waffle of Vondal the Second!!Collapse )

Back in the Saddle
Akmenos
rabarts2
Hear! Hear! The Waffle of Vondal the Second!!Collapse )Ah, the wind, the rain, the sun, the chafing between the thighs. Nothing like being back on a horse in the rough wilderness. 


Aye, we've left the pyramid behind us in ruins, the ghosts of Thrullzon and Karavakos to wail on the wind, and the Rod of Ruin in ashes. I drank many a jolly libation to the passing of that foul thing, and when I was done burning it and drinking to its passing I vented my bladder liberally upon its cremated dust. Consider yourself ruined, Rod of Ruin. * Pfft *


See how I did that, using words to express my physical distaste? Hah! Next I'll be making smiling faces with punctuation. It will usher in the Revolution! 





Madness' End
Akmenos
rabarts2

Poor old Thrullzon. I guess he just wasn't what Orcus was looking for to take over the world, when it came down to it. 

Yes, this is me, your lovable furry friend Akmenos, finally back in my own skin. Thrullzon is, once again, history, so it's only fair that the last moments of his tale should have their telling, and who better to tell it than the one who had been watching through his eyes, through my eyes, for all these cursed days that he has been among us.
Putting the dead to rest...Collapse )
 

On the Brink
Akmenos
rabarts2
 He is close, I can feel it in these bones. Even though we continue to battle past his minions and monsters, beasts of towering bone and spitting flame, and even though we face his misshapen simulacra, I know that we have not yet destroyed the true abomination that is Karavakos. 

But we are so very, very close. I know it, almost as if an unheard voice whispers in the back of my mind that just around the next corner, just up the next flight of stairs, just beyond the next leaping vortex of flame and shadow, he will be waiting. Patiently, like a long-lost lover, hungry for the kiss of death. 
The Endgame Begins...Collapse )

Now you see him ... Now you don't ...
Akmenos
rabarts2
 Karavakos is toying with our minds. He lays traps and illusions and waits for us to fall into them, his laughter unheard but echoing shrill in the back of our ears as we struggle to survive another ploy, another deception. 

What madness this way lies?Collapse )

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